This just in: Clowns are SCARY!
Originally Posted on January 18th, 2008:
Are they just now realizing this?
My wife thinks clowns are cute. Most of them anyway. She’s the only person I’ve spoke with on the subject that doesn’t find clowns positively fucking terrifying.
Once upon a time, when I was a young lad, my mother was taking classes and working a third shift job. Because of her odd hours, my brother and I were required to stay with a babysitter overnight. We hated it, but we had no other choice.
We shared a bedroom at this babysitter’s house. Looking back on it now, I’m positive that it was a doorway to the void, much like the house in Poltergeist.
Clowns everywhere. In every corner of the room, there were clowns. Clown wallpaper, clown rug, clown sheets, clown pillowcases, clown pictures, clown lampshades, clown figurines, clown lights and worst of all, one of those dolls with the red and white striped arms–really long arms–that you see strangling people in creepy 80’s horror b-movies. Oh, there was also a jack-in-the-box, which I rightfully expected to jump out and eat me as soon as I fell asleep.
Fortunately, it didn’t. I’m still here, scarred for life.
But for most of my life, this “bozophobia” has been common amongst my peers. This has persisted through the years right down to the generation of kids who were studied. What really ought to be studied is why this is suddenly news to people.