Well, this has been an interesting-if-uneventful weekend.  First, the debates:  I checked Google news to see what they’re reporting and… well, according to the news, it’s almost a consensus in favor of Obama.  The bloggers/wingnuts will disagree, naturally.

Honestly, I was surprised to hear that.  Overall, I thought they both performed well.  I mean, some things were obviously less-than-straightforward, but the only observations I had to share were basically the same as those of others:  Obama seemed angry (it’s about damn time) and McCain was a condescending bastard.  I also noticed Obama was on the defensive much of the night, correcting this or denying that.  Today, I found out why.

From factcheck.org:

McCain and Obama contradicted each other repeatedly during their first debate, and each volunteered some factual misstatements as well. Here’s how we sort them out:

• Obama said McCain adviser Henry Kissinger backs talks with Iran “without preconditions,” but McCain disputed that. In fact, Kissinger did recently call for “high level” talks with Iran starting at the secretary of state level and said, “I do not believe that we can make conditions.” After the debate the McCain campaign issued a statement quoting Kissinger as saying he didn’t favor presidential talks with Iran.

• Obama denied voting for a bill that called for increased taxes on “people” making as little as $42,000 a year, as McCain accused him of doing. McCain was right, though only for single taxpayers. A married couple would have had to make $83,000 to be affected by the vote, and anyway no such increase is in Obama’s tax plan.

• McCain and Obama contradicted each other on what Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Admiral Mike Mullen said about troop withdrawals. Mullen said a time line for withdrawal could be “very dangerous” but was not talking specifically about “Obama’s plan,” as McCain maintained.

• McCain tripped up on one of his signature issues – special appropriation “earmarks.” He said they had “tripled in the last five years,” when in fact they have decreased sharply.

• Obama claimed Iraq “has” a $79 billion surplus. It once was projected to be as high as that. It’s now down to less than $60 billion.

• McCain repeated his overstated claim that the U.S. pays $700 billion a year for oil to hostile nations. Imports are running at about $536 billion this year, and a third of it comes from Canada, Mexico and the U.K.

• Obama said 95 percent of “the American people” would see a tax cut under his proposal. The actual figure is 81 percent of households.

• Obama mischaracterized an aspect of McCain’s health care plan, saying “employers” would be taxed on the value of health benefits provided to workers. Employers wouldn’t, but the workers would. McCain also would grant workers up to a $5,000 tax credit per family to cover health insurance.
• McCain misrepresented Obama’s plan by claiming he’d be “handing the health care system over to the federal government.” Obama would expand some government programs but would allow people to keep their current plans or chose from private ones, as well.
  

• McCain claimed Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower had drafted a letter of resignation from the Army to be sent in case the 1944 D-Day landing at Normandy turned out to be a failure. Ike prepared a letter taking responsibility, but he didn’t mention resigning.

For full details, as well as other dubious claims and statements, please read our full Analysis section.

 Notice anything peculiar?  I did.  The vast majority of those points are against McCain.  Not only does the guy play dirty, scumbag politics, he lies right to our faces.  It blows because I actually want to like the guy.

 Before this morning, I would have considered it a tie.  I still think they both performed well, but now it’s clear who the victor was.  This is why it’s important to check facts.

 Ollie has a great take on the outcome.

——-

 Other than feel like crap all weekend, I ended up saving the group I was assigned to in my Saturday class from utter failure.  The assignment was to pick a state, then pick a category of statistics for that state.  In that category, we were to choose various statistics that best describe that category for the state.

 We picked our category, and our understanding of the assignment seemed to fit with what was on the sheet describing it.  Then I re-read it and while it didn’t specifically say “each person in the group gets a category,” the language in the rest of the sheet suggested it was more specific.

 Long story short, I was up until three in the morning (the night before my 8am class) pulling off the statistics for 9 other categories for our state, then comparing each of them to where Illinois ranked.  This ended up saving our ass, hardcore.  One person in the group didn’t bother showing up.  Another looked up the correct statistics, but didn’t use the website we were instructed to use.  The other looked up the stats for our category, but for the wrong state.

I ended up handing each of them a category sheet of Illinois statistics, our assigned state’s stats, and a third sheet comparing the two.   I took three categories because dammit, I did the work, might as well use it.

In other news, I picked my topic for my final report.  Fortunately, it’s interesting.  On the downside, it’s going to require tons of footwork and probably some original research due to lack of information.  Anyone know how to cite that?

I deserve a lobster.

Enjoy some comics.

My prediction for Saturday morning interviews:

It would coincide perfectly with the McCain campaign strategy:

Following the proud scumbag tradition of Republican-style politics:

Which convinces these gullible people to vote for them:

Hmm.  It’s almost a case against the existence of God.  Why hasn’t this happened yet?

It’s a sad day here at BlargenBlog.

The other night as we were driving home, my wife and I saw a pile of what could only be turkey feathers on the side of the road.  Judging by the shitty drivers I’ve observed in the vicinity, my guess is some hapless simpleton was too busy talking about their inane, shallow life on their cell phone to notice a gigantic-ass bird in their way.

We think the turkey got creamed.

But if anyone happens to see an assless turkey walking around East Peoria, tell him his feathers are where he left ‘em.

When the news first broke, this had every appearance of being sincere.  It thoroughly looked legit.  How bipartisan and patriotic does it look to postpone your quest for the highest office in the land to deal with the immediate crisis facing the country?

Now wait just a minute…

We’re supposed to sit here and “ooh” and “ahh” over this stunt and forget that he’s a Senator and is therefore supposed to be doing this anyway?  I’m sorry, but I wasn’t aware that running for president was a reason to neglect the duties you were elected to carry out, and the same goes for Barack Obama.

But somehow McCain deserves a pat on the back for doing his job?  Color me speechless.

With that in mind, let’s look past all the polished crap surrounding this unexpected news and look at what’s really going on.

First off, there’s some definite posturing going on here.  Today, John McCain was reported to be doing worse in two polls, including a FoxNews poll (down 6%) and a Washington Post poll (down 9%).  It has been reported and confirmed that Barack Obama called John McCain at 8:30 this morning to discuss a joint statement on the economic crisis.

Initial reports stated “John McCain suspends his campaign to deal with the economic crisis and invites Obama to do the same!”

Doesn’t this look a wee bit political to you?   I didn’t hear shit about the phone call from Obama to McCain until McCain announced he was suspending his campaign.  This accomplishes two things:

1. It unfairly bestows upon McCain the “bipartisan” mantle, even though Obama was the first to reach across the proverbial aisle, something the Republicans are bound to flaunt.
2. It takes advantage of the initial proposal by putting the ball in Obama’s court and sticking him in a tough position, changing the dialogue to “Will Obama accept this generous and selfless offer, or will he be an elitist and put the election above what’s best for the American people?”

Already, you can see the negative undertones in public perception.  Don’t believe me?  Look how the McCain camp is already trying to capitalize on this announcement.

From the Washington Post:

McCain said he is calling on President Bush “to convene a meeting with the leadership from both houses of Congress, including Senator Obama and myself. It is time for both parties to come together to solve this problem.” (emphasis mine)

Another Post article states:

“John McCain’s leadership and experience credentials outrank Barack Obama’s,” said Sarah Simmons, a McCain campaign strategist, this morning. “[We are] walking through a crisis and people are looking to see how it is going to be handled.”

Nancy Pfotenhauer, a senior policy adviser to McCain, echoed that sentiment in an interview moments ago with Fox News Channel. “Senator McCain’s entire life is a testimony to putting his country first and that’s what he is doing right now,” said Pfotenhauer.

Apparently the Associated Press agrees with me:

McCain’s statement was an effort to show leadership on an issue that has spread economic fears across the country and overshadowed the presidential campaign just six weeks from Election Day. The economy has not been McCain’s strongest suit, and his move was an attempt to turn it into an opportunity to show he’s the candidate of bipartisanship and action. Recent polls showed Obama with an advantage with voters in handling the economy.

The move put Obama in a bind. Rejecting the idea would allow McCain alone to appear above politics, but agreeing to suspend campaigning and the debate could make Obama look like he’s following McCain’s lead.

The bottom line:  this move has the distinct appearance of being a political maneuver.  I will be following this very closely over the next few days.  Believe me, McCain knew the exact effect he was trying to create when he made these statements:

“Following September 11th, our national leaders came together at a time of crisis.  We must show that kind of patriotism now. Americans across our country lament the fact that partisan divisions in Washington have prevented us from addressing our national challenges. Now is our chance to come together to prove that Washington is once again capable of leading this country.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.  We just had to go there.

Funny.  The way I remember it, Congress panicked and didn’t think things through before acting.  I’m in no hurry to repeat those colossal mistakes.

In all honesty, I hope he is being sincere about this.  I hope he’s  interested only in the good of the country.  I sure as hell hope they devise a plan to get us out of this mess.  But he still won’t get my vote.  Not as long as he has an extremist nutbag like Palin on his ticket, nor while he continues to run a sleazy campaign and rely on extremist rhetoric to win the election.

Remember folks, there was a time where centrist Democrats said they’d vote for McCain.  Instead, we ended up with Bush.  I’d rather not repeat that mistake either.

So my co-worker pointed this out at CNN.com:  John McCain suspends campaigning to work on economy, requests postponing Friday debate; asks Obama do the same.

Is this the old John McCain saying hello?  Is this a turning point for the sleaziest campaign in history?  Or is this just the latest Rovian ploy??  I’m still trying to find out more info, but this is apparently breaking news.  Check back for more info, with analysis to follow.

UPDATE 1:  After checking around, I can’t seem to find diddly squat on this.  CNN has updated their page to say the full story is coming soon, but I haven’t seen anything in the News or Press Releases on McCain’s website.  Hell, Google News doesn’t even have it in their top stories yet.  Naturally, no response from the Obama campaign has yet been issued.

UPDATE 2:  Finally!  According to CNN, the campaign is being suspended to deal with the looming financial crisis as McCain heads back to Washington DC.  This comes immediately after Vice President Dick Cheney was spurned by House Republicans over Paulson’s 700-billion dollar bailout plan.  Apparently the outcome of that was less-than-friendly towards ol’ shitbrick.

Apparently the campaign will officially be suspended tomorrow morning, which is especially untimely since the first of the presidential debates is scheduled for this Friday.  He has asked that Barack Obama join him in Washington to work towards a solution.  Still no response from the Obama camp.

UPDATE 3:  Oh-ho, not so fast!  While John McCain may be raking in the recognition right now, it turns out the process was initiated by Senator Obama.   The Raw Story has the scoop:

The Republican candidate’s dramatic proposal Wednesday afternoon came after Obama approached him earlier in the day about issuing a joint statement on the economic crisis, an Obama spokesman said. Congress is debating a potential $700 billion bailout package, and the two senators had remained mum on their plans until Wednesday.

“At 8:30 this morning, Senator Obama called Senator McCain to ask him if he would join in issuing a joint statement outlining their shared principles and conditions for the Treasury proposal and urging Congress and the White House to act in a bipartisan manner to pass such a proposal. At 2:30 this afternoon, Senator McCain returned Senator Obama’s call and agreed to join him in issuing such a statement. The two campaigns are currently working together on the details,” Obama spokesman Bill Burton said in an e-mail to reporters sent immediately after McCain spoke.

McCain strode in front of television microphones just after 3 p.m. to announce suspension of his campaign.

Indeed.

UPDATE 4:  MSNBC reports that in response to McCain’s request to postpone the debates, Obama campaign strategist Robert Gibbs suggested there would be “no better way to shed light [on] this crisis than to debate it,” but said they would first talk to the debate commission before proceeding.

Also, the McCain campaign is requesting political ads be suspended while they’re working on a plan, but the article did not make clear whether they’d be pulling their own ads as well, creating a temporary cease-fire.  They’re also denying that this is a political maneuver in responds to losing ground in the polls.

UPDATE 5:  From MSNBC:

McCain Senior Adviser Mark Salter briefed reporters just now off camera on the decision. He told us the following:
–McCain will suspend airing all ads and all campaign events pending obama agreement
–McCain called President Bush today and told him of the plan. He would not characterize Bush reax.
–McCain talked to colleagues on the Hill during last 2 days and learned that passage of the Paulson plan was going to be next to impossible
–McCain would partake in debate if they passed agreement by Friday morning
–Salter will get back to us on whther mccain is suspending fundraising
–Salter says they are confident if all parties get together–they can agree on a plan by Monday.

UPDATE 6: Obama will meet with McCain in Washington, but said he plans to continue preparing for Friday’s debate.

On the way home from work:

Me:  So you know that rickrolling song?

Wife:  Yeah.

Me:  I heard it today while listening to Rush Limbaugh.  It was playing in the background while he was talking.

Wife:  Ugh, so Rush Limbaugh got rickrolled?

Me:  No, it’s more like he rickrolled his audience.

Wife:  His show is a rickroll.

Priceless.

I’m making this an open thread.  Talk about whatever you want.

I’ve been blogging regularly for over a year now and I’ve been thinking of ways to expand my site.  I’ve gone from averaging 50 hits per day to around 1200 (thank you, web crawlers).  Just this month, I’ve gotten about 50 whois requests (thank you anonymous registration).  At any rate, it has grown a little teensy bit.  So, where do I go from here?

I’m open to suggestions.  What would you like to see here?  How could I make the site better or more usable?

No, “becoming a conservative” is not being accepted as a suggestion.  :P

I don’t know how many of you have been paying attention to foreign affairs in the wake of all this news on the economy, but Mamoud Ahmadinejad is in New York today addressing the United Nations.  Naturally, it’s become a point of contention between the McCain and Obama campaigns.  Bullshit detectors: ON.  Full Power in 3… 2… 1…

It seems fascist Republican sideshow freak Sarah Palin has managed to be portrayed as the victim yet again.

The facts surrounding this event are scattered, but here’s what I’ve been able to deduce:

In response to this visit, a number of organizations planned a joint protest and invited Hillary Clinton to speak.  Unbeknownst to the Clinton and her staff, Sarah Palin was also invited.  Clinton, who was not informed about the joint appearance, withdrew from the event.  The primary reason cited was to avoid the “woman-on-woman showdown” between the two that many in the media have been rooting for.

I first read about the incident at AOL News.  The article is critical of the Obama campaign, claiming they hijacked the event.

“Sen. Hillary Clinton was originally scheduled to appear at the rally as well, but canceled at the behest of the Obama campaign upon learning that Palin was going to appear.”

 ”At the behest of the Obama campaign.”  That’s funny, when you click on the article linked to the word “canceled,” there’s not a single mention of a request by the Obama campaign to cancel the event.  In fact, it seems to suggest Clinton withdrew of her own volition.  An AFP article seems to suggest the same thing.  No innacuracies here, that was a blatant lie.  What the hell is going on?

Next, they say the Obama campaign threatened the organizing groups tax-exempt status if they didn’t disinvite Palin:

“Several leading Democratic politicians, including Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) then prevailed upon the sponsoring organizations to dis-invite Palin, on the grounds that the event would be viewed as political in nature if she appeared. Reportedly, Democrats threatened the tax-exempt status of the sponsoring groups if Palin were allowed to speak at the rally.”

Cornell University Law professor Menachem Rosensaft sets the record straight:

It seemed fairly clever at first — perhaps a bit too clever. Every even semi-competent head of a tax exempt 501(c)(3) organization knows that featuring the Republican vice presidential candidate six weeks before Election Day without at least offering equal time to the Democratic ticket could seriously jeopardize the group’s tax-exempt status. But Senator Hillary Clinton had already agreed to speak at the rally back in August, and the organizers must have felt that this gave them the necessary cover to include Governor Palin without having to ask anyone from the Obama-Biden campaign. (Incidentally, one of Governor Palin’s advisers, Mark Wallace, just happens to be both the executive director of United Against Nuclear Iran and the husband of McCain campaign Communications Director Nicole Wallace; and if you believe this is a mere coincidence, I know of lots of subprime mortgages you might want to add to your portfolio.)

When Senator Clinton found out that the Republican Vice Presidential nominee had been invited, she understood that she was being set up. There was every likelihood that Governor Palin would have attacked Senator Obama, and contrasted Senator Clinton’s presence at the rally with the fact that Senators Barack Obama and Joe Biden were not there. It was equally foreseeable that no one would have bothered to point out that neither Obama nor Biden had been invited. The Obama campaign’s explanation and legitimately outraged reaction would then have been lost in the next news cycle. Senator Clinton was having none of this, and promptly withdrew from the demonstration.

 Scandalous!

Finally, the article goes on to state the Republican reaction:

The McCain campaign has criticized Obama’s decision to effectively censor Palin by puling out of the anti-Iran rally as choosing politics over the national interest. The campaign claims that it tried to get the Obama campaign to send a representative to the rally and make the event a bi-partisan stand against Iranian aggression. But the Obama campaign would only commit to sending Rep. Robert Wexler (D-FL) to appear alongside Palin. Wexler is a fiercely liberal partisan who has called Palin, “a far right, pro-life zealot,” and has denigrated her experience as a small town mayor. The McCain camp took that as a signal that the Obama campaign had no intention of engaging in a serious effort at bi-partisanship.

Besides already being a horribly imbalanced article (What was the Obama campaign’s reaction, huh?), the little descriptor of Robert Wexler as “a fiercely liberal partisan” is an obvious attempt at painting the Obama campaign as unreasonable.  “Well, they’d only send in this guy!  See how partisan they are?”

Let’s get something straight:  Sarah Palin is a far-right fringe conservative.  She may represent the mainstream of Republican politics, but she is inarguably on the outskirts of the ideology.  Robert Wexler is an activist liberal. If an extremist like Palin is going to be invited,  Wexler is a pretty tame offering by comparison.  The Republicans are crying about it by saying the Democrats are going overboard, which means they’re obviously looking for the advantage.  The Obama campaign is trying to fit a square peg into a square hole, that’s all:

It was only after Senator Clinton had pulled out that the rally’s organizers first contacted the Obama campaign and asked them to participate in the event. This was on Wednesday, September 17th, five days before the rally. The Obama campaign accepted the invitation and said that it would send Representative Robert Wexler, a prominent Jewish Member of Congress from Florida who sits on the House Committee on Foreign Affairs (he is chairman of its Sub-Committee on Europe) as its surrogate. The following day, the organizers decided that the rally had suddenly become too political and disinvited Governor Palin and all other “American political personalities.”

Let’s be perfectly clear. The organizers had initially invited Governor Palin without ever contacting, let alone inviting, anyone from the Obama campaign. When they finally issued a belated invitation to the Obama side, it was accepted, and a prominent Democratic Member of Congress was going to speak at the rally. The organizers then disinvited both Governor Palin and Representative Wexler. And whom does the GOP hold responsible for this fiasco? Barack Obama, of course.

Scum.  Bags.  Honestly, wingnuts, how do you keep falling for this shit?

After reading the article and spotting so much bullshit I felt it necessary to scour the web in search of the facts behind it, I decided to click on the author’s name to read his profile:

Mark Impomeni is neither a journalist, nor a pundit. He is a citizen with a keen interest in politics and national issues. He brings an everyman’s perspective to political happenings and strives to find the subtleties of political strategy behind even the most conventional political plays. Mark is an ideological conservative, although not a member of any political party.

Skeptical, argumentative, and in need of an outlet, Mark began writing political blogs as a diarist at RedState.com in the fall of 2005. After a year as a frequently recommended and promoted diarist there, Mark was invited to become a contributing editor in December 2006. He continues to post and edit at RedState. Mark also writes a column on the state of the 2008 presidential race for Political-Buzz.com.

Suddenly, the world makes sense again.  This guy isn’t a journalist, he’s a conservative dipshit.  I do like the vain attempt at neutrality in that first paragraph,”an ideological conservative, although not a member of any political party.”  Kiss my ass.  Nobody is fooled into thinking this guy votes anything but Republican on a regular basis.

——-

So what was Palin going to say at the rally anyway?

What am I saying?!

I can tell you what she’ll say about Iran and Ahmadinejad without even reading it.  This dolt is only capable of parroting Republican talking points.  So let’s see…

1)  She mentions state-sponsored terrorism, and the sending of Iranian troops into Iraq to fight Americans, something which the Bush administration has been claiming for awhile now, yet hasn’t substantiated it despite their supposed mountains of evidence.  Iran also denies the allegations.

2) She mentions Iranian nuclear ambitions.  She’ll say they have, had, or can make nukes, despite the NIE report which says the program was stopped back in 2003 due to international pressure–*GASP* that’s diplomacy–for them to suspend it.

3) She mentions threatening Israel and the Holocaust denying.  In the same breath, she will threaten Iran and/or Ahmedinejad with extermination, forget that we’ve systematically denied atrocities such as the Armenian genocide.  In essense, she’s going to make it look like we’re the aggressors to the Iranians, because she’s a tactless twit.

4) She’s going to put on her Dubya hat and claim that Iran is the gravest danger we’ve ever faced and that we must take action now or else the whole of Western civilization and our Democracy™ will be threatened.  I’ll bet a thousand bucks she doesn’t mention the American-backed CIA-incited coups that led to the overthrow of their democratically-elected leaders.  Any takers?

*reads the speech*

UGH!!!  Here’s the tally:

1. Dubya hat: “They must be stopped.”  (what have they done, exactly?)   Check.
2. Holocaust denial:  “Ahmadinejad denies that the Holocaust ever took place.” Check.
3. Destroying Israel:  “He has called Israel a “stinking corpse” that is “on its way to annihilation.”"  Check.
4. Nukes: “The Iranian government wants nuclear weapons.” (then lists all the NIE-debunked bullshit)  Check.
5. Iranians killing Americans in Iraq:  “Iran has armed and trained terrorists who have killed our soldiers in Iraq…”  Check.
6. State-Sponsored Terrorism:  “It is the no. 1 state sponsor of terrorism.” Check.
7. Threatening for War:  Surprisingly, no.  She instead danced around the issue and vaguely said we need to stop it, impose sanctions or otherwise discourage it.  Fail.

Six out of seven.  Not too shabby.  There were a few of other things I should have predicted but didn’t, such as making yet another hollow sales pitch for staying in Iraq.  I was reading along, checking things off my list when I found something that did surprise me:  an uncharacteristically long (for a Republican) mention of women’s rights in Iran.  Since when have wingnuts given a shit about womens’ rights in this country, let alone in the world?

Then I recognized it for what it was:  a setup.

Earlier this year, Senator Clinton said that “Iran is seeking nuclear weapons, and the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps is in the forefront of that” effort. Senator Clinton argued that part of our response must include stronger sanctions, including the designation of the IRGC as a terrorist organization. John McCain and I could not agree more.

Senator Clinton understands the nature of this threat and what we must do to confront it. This is an issue that should unite all Americans. Iran should not be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons. Period. And in a single voice, we must be loud enough for the whole world to hear: Stop Iran!

So what the release of this speech does:  completely and unequivocally justifies Senator Clinton’s withdrawal from the event, while showing Republicans to be the shady, sleazy scumbags we thought they were.  Way to accuse the other side of partisan politics while planning to pull cheap shit like this.

Of course, this isn’t the only time in the past week they’ve done it.  In the proud tradition of misusing 9/11 for political gain, McCain throws in a presidential sales pitch at the end of his phony consolation concerning the terrorist attacks in Pakistan.  Hell, he didn’t even release a statement concerning the attacks in Yemen.  Compare that with Obama’s press releases available on his site.  Yet again, Obama shows class while McCain does not.

I wasn’t entirely happy with the way this one turned out.  I thought it could have been a little longer, but it’s a summary and supposed to be short.  Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything else to say.  It just seemed to get the point across. 

Same anticipatory freakout, but still got 145/125 on this one and got to leave early.  (Originally it was double-spaced–damn copy/paste!)  Enjoy:

A Modest Proposal 

      This is a summary of A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift, in which he describes the state of poverty in Ireland during the 18^th century and proposes a solution for solving it.  The proposal itself is to raise children (particularly those of the poor) to be eaten as a way to eliminate the expense of caring for them while generating a new market to boost the overall economy and, subsequently, eradicate poverty.

      To support his proposal, he suggests the poor will earn a 400% profit by selling their babies.  According to Swift, “It is true, a child… may be supported… at most not above the value of two shillings,” for a year after birth, at which time he suggests they can be sold for as much as ten schillings. 

      Later, the author describes the impact this new commodity could have on the economy.  The meat could be sold to taverns to be prepared for their patrons or to the rich as a type of delicacy.  In addition, he mentions that since the people would be eating children, they’d be using less of their livestock and could then increase their exports overseas, again increasing their wealth.

      To many, the intent behind such an absurd suggestion as eating children may not be immediately obvious.  The purpose of the proposal is to illustrate the desperate conditions endured by the poor in Ireland using satire as a means to convey the message.  The effect it is designed to accomplish is to conjure disdain for the author for his sarcastic suggestions and seeming heartlessness, which in turn generates sympathy for the plight suffered by the impoverished. 

Conservatives everywhere just felt a chill down their spine.  I’m having another kid.  This time, it’s going to be a girl.  Due date is Feb 7th.

I’ve completed the set.  I can quit now.  Bring forth the Sawzall.