Archive for the ‘Peoria’ Category

Weekend Summary

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Friday

Finished Catcher in the Rye.  Not my favorite book ever, but a fun read.

Remember that thing I said a few weeks ago about the shithead attitude that SUV drivers generally have in common?  NPR confirms it:

Poelstra says back in the good old days when gas cost $2.50 a gallon — last year — he was spending $100 a month to fill up his pickup, just to travel to places like the grocery store. The cost of electricity for the Xebra is $10-$12 a month. He loves the car and loves telling people about it.

A passerby outside the grocery store inquires about the Xebra. Poelstra says the car is totally electric and requires minimal maintenance.

“Right on! That’s pretty cool,” Clay Dierdorff exclaims. Poelstra says he gets such inquiries all the time.

“Every time we park, somebody wants to talk about the car,” he says. Poelstra’s 12-year-old son Alex says that drivers in large SUVs occasionally aren’t so polite.

“A couple of people yell when they see it,” Alex says. Sometimes they use “words you would not want to say — especially on national radio.”

Told ya so.  Fucking assholes.

Saturday

Didn’t do shit all day.  I took my wife to work, played with the boy, then played Lord of the Rings Online all night.  I don’t get to do this often, so it was a nice break.

Sunday

Went to the Old English Faire, added a few new bottles to my blue bottle collection, picked up a leather-bound blank book, then got harassed by some medieval fundies selling absolution.  They were play-acting, of course.  But it is sad that after hundreds of years, the real fundies haven’t changed much.

Found out George Carlin had died a little past midnight.  I knew it was coming eventually (the guy was a dinosaur), but I didn’t know I’d be so damn depressed about it.  The world really is a better place because he was born, and we’re sad to see him go.

Cliche Baseball Slogan

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

Today was the day of the PeoriaSpeaks.com baseball outing to watch the Peoria Chiefs lay the smackdown on the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers. Due to a scheduling mix-up, my wife was unable to attend and thanks to the monkeys who “fixed” my truck, I also had to skip Zoo Fest, though I’ll probably be visiting the Zoo next Saturday.

Because of the truck situation, I was going to be ridiculously late. The plan was to meet at Trots (may also be known as Hoops) at 4pm to pass out tickets and socialize awhile before the game. Due to the planning faux pas, I had to take the boy to a relative’s house before making my way downtown. At about 5pm I called the proprietor of Grandma’s Attic and explained I’d be late.

That’s when I found out we weren’t meeting until 5:00 pm anyway. Shitbeans.

I showed up at Hoops and introduced myself to the regulars I hadn’t met. A few minutes later, Flam pulls out a box of chattering teeth and passes them around. We’d raced them at some point, but apparently my camera didn’t like it. I do, however, have this gem:

We also received a gummy-candy flamingo which I can’t bear to part with, meaning “bite its head off”:

teethflam.jpg

The notorious duo East Bluff Barbie and Brad Carter showed up as well. We talked politics briefly before I had to catch up with the rest of the crew at the ballpark (they had a previous engagement). Y’know, it’s nice talking to people who can make it a civil topic, yet still call someone a fuck stain when they deserve it. Epic win!

Don’t worry guys–I let them know they need to blog more. Who loves ya?

So I made my way to the ballpark:

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Cue Sprach Zarathustra.

(note: at this point in writing, the author broke into an operatic yawn solo, rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. Lazy writing ahead.)

Many beers, nachos, hotdogs, pictures, dances and cigarettes later, the Chiefs ended up winning 5-4 and we were treated to a fireworks show after the game. It was a great time all around with plenty of awesome people. I’d go into more detail, but it’s currently 1:18 AM and I’m pretty dang tired. So here are some pictures of the event, since they show what happened about as well as I could describe it:

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See you there next time?

EDIT — By request, here’s a picture of the guy who delivered a slice of pizza to my seat:

pizzadude.jpg

Getting My Culture On

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

First off, apparently I’m the new official fanboy of Ms. K.A. Tearch.

I was browsing through the WCBU Arts Calendar and reminiscing about the days where I actually, y’know, DID stuff.  If anyone out there wants to have a little fun and meet me face to face (so you can tell me off in person or just tag along) I will be attending the following events (blatantly copied and pasted from the WCBU website, the PACVB’s peoria.org, PLUG PLUG):

Saturday, May 17th

The Indo-American Society of Peoria and the Peoria Park District present India Fest 2008 at the Peoria Riverfront from 11am to 10pm.  Non-stop entertainment, shopping, a cricket match and food will fill the day.  Tickets are $5 in advance, $6 at the gate, children $3 and $4, and kids under 5 free.  For tickets and information, call 693-9609 or e-mail  admin@indoam.org

Sunday, May 18th

Carl Anderson and His New Orleans Jazz Band
Carl Anderson and His New Orleans Jazz Band presents Dixieland style music that will be fun for all ages. The Jazz Society House Band will play during the middle set.

Dates: 05/18/2008 to 05/18/2008
Location: Radisson Hotel, 117 N. Western Ave..
Hours: 6:00-9:30 p.m.
Admission: $5 members; $7 non-members

309-692-5330
309-692-5330
309-692-5330

Friday, May 23rd

Louie Louie
One of Peoria’s favorite event

Dates: 05/23/2008 to 05/23/2008
Location: CEFCU Center Stage at The Landing, Peoria Riverfront.
Hours: 3pm - 11pm
Admission: Free

309-689-3019:/
PeoriaParks.org

Saturday, May 24th

ZooFest
Enjoy the beginning of summer

Dates: 05/24/2008 to 05/24/2008
Location: Peoria Zoo, 2218 N. Prospect (in Glen Oak Park).
Hours: 11 am-3 pm
Admission: $5.95/13yrs & older; $3.75/children

(309)686-3365:
www.peoriaparks.org

Peoria Chiefs Baseball Game
Chiefs vs. Wisconsin Timber Rattlers 6:30 PM Fireworks Show

Dates: 05/24/2008 to 05/24/2008
Location: O’Brien Field, 730 SW Jefferson.
Hours: 6:30pm
Admission: $6, $9, $10

309-680-4008
309-680-4008
309-680-4008

Friday, May 30th

Corn Stock Theatre begins its 55th season of shows under the tent in upper Bradley Park in Peoria with the musical “Singin’ in the Rain”.  The rest of the season includes “The Odd Couple”, “Disney’s Beauty and the Beast”, “A Chorus Line”, and the drama “On Golden Pond”.  For season ticket information, call (309) 676-2196.

Saturday, June 7th

Fine Art Fair at Junction City
The Peoria Art Guild presents this juried fair, showcasing the work of Central Illinois artisits.

Dates: 06/07/2008 to 06/08/2008
Location: Junction City Shopping Center, corner of Prospect and Knoxville.
Hours: 10am-4pm
Admission: Free

309-637-2787
309-637-2787
309-637-2787

Saturday, June 14th

New Works by Gerard Erley
Award winning oil painter, best known for his classical landscape scenes will be exhibiting his new collection of work.

Dates: 05/16/2008 to 06/21/2008
Location: Peoria Art Guild, Gallery II.
Hours: Mon-Thur 10am-6pm; Fri & Sat 10am-5pm
Admission: $2

Saturday, June 21st

Jammsammich
Jammsammich will be returning to the RiverFront this summer on Saturday, June 21st. Check the website for information updates!

Dates: 06/21/2008 to 06/21/2008
Location: Peoria RiverFront, CEFCU Center Stage.
Hours: TBD
Admission: TBD

309-689-3019
309-689-3019
309-689-3019

Sunday, June 22nd

Manny Lopez Quintet
Manny Lopez leads this jazz co

Dates: 06/22/2008 to 06/22/2008
Location: Radisson Hotel, in the Mozart Room, 117 N. Western Ave., Peoria.
Hours: 6:00-9:30 p.m.
Admission: $5 members; $7 non-members (ch

309-692-5330:/
www.peoriajazz.com

Friday, June 27th

The Producers
Eastlight does it again - another first for our area! Following the hysterical Mel Brooks’ classic comedy film, The Producers is a modern, outrageous, truly “boffo” stage hit. Winning a record twelve Tony Awards - it is sure to entertain audiences night af

Dates: 06/20/2008 to 06/28/2008
Location: Eastlight Theatre, 1401 E. Washington St..
Hours: 20, 21, 25, 26, 27, 28 - 7:30pm; 22 - 2pm
Admission: $16; youth $8

309-699-SHOW
309-699-SHOW
309-699-SHOW

Saturday, June 28th
Universal Rhythm Assembly
This is a two-day music festiv

Dates: 06/27/2008 to 06/28/2008
Location: Festival Park and the CEFCU Center Stage at The Landing, Peoria Riverfront.
Hours: TBA
Admission: TBA

309-689-3019:/
www.universalrhythmassembly.com

Ode to Commuting - the Sequel

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

Peoria is a cosmic, gravitational nexus of incompetence on the road.

This morning on my way to work, I was following my usual route making good time. In accordance with Murphy’s law, I ended up behind two semis. The one in front of me was carrying a tractor and two, big-ass tires on a flatbed. For the speed he was going, he definitely should have been in the right-hand lane instead of pacing along blocking traffic. The second was carrying something else, don’t remember what, but was considerably smaller. He was in the right-hand lane.

We’re cruising down I-74 Westbound coming up on the Pinecrest Drive exit. I’m muttering curses under my breath over having to be stuck behind this dumbass when all of a sudden… BOOM! The next thing I know, I’m dodging all kinds of shit flying through the air and bouncing off the road spraying my car with shattered debris. The sonofabitch truck I was just grumbling about apparently mis-measured his load and hit the overpass. *slaps forehead*

So I’m braking and swerving, and about a half a mile up the road we all pull over. I stay in my car to call into work to tell them what happened and let them know I’ll be late. The guy in the smaller truck was in front of me, and in front of him, Mr. Dumbass was inspecting his cargo. To hell with the rest of us, he had to verify his stupidity (or, to be fair, the stupidity of whoever told him his load met regulations.

The guy in the smaller truck went to make sure he had a cell phone to call it in. Instead, he says he’s going to take off. Smaller-Truck relayed this to me (as I had finally emerged from my car at this point) after asking if I was alright. Dumbass leaves. Small leaves.

With an inflamed sense of “fuck that” I get into my car and merge back into traffic once I get an opening. I call the police, give them my work number and a description of the truck and the location of the incident. “Did you get the license plate number?” No. I was too busy dodging pieces of farm equipment. “Did you get the color?” No, I was behind it, dodging pieces of FARM EQUIPMENT. Really though, the dispatchers were helpful and to-the-point, so I’ve got no complaints with them. My chagrin is directed at Mr. D.

After talking with the police, I resume my normal route to work. The light at the next intersection turns yellow. Again, according to Murphy’s Law, I’m nowhere near close enough to make it, so I put on my brakes. Then, according to Peoria’s Law, the bastard riding my ass (I’m no slow driver, by the way) slams on his brakes, damn near rear-ends me, pulls around me to the right–into a turn lane–then proceeds to run the red light I was stopped at. What are the freakin’ odds?

I haven’t had a chance to survey whatever damage the car might have incurred in today’s roadway shitfest, but I’m planning on looking it over once I get a smoke break. Good thing my insurance is paid.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

That’s the sound my mind makes whenever my right hand hits the keyboard. Ladies and Gentlemen, I went roller skating last night.

I was with my best friend. He has a guest from Japan staying at his house and was out of ideas for how to entertain her in pre-spring Illinois. I, in my naive fondness of memory, suggested rollerskating. What my mind and body had apparently forgotten was that I hadn’t been rollerskating for the better part of a decade. For those of you who find yourself in a similar situation, here’s a tip sheet:

  • Dress light. Rollerskating can be quite a workout!
  • When choosing a pair of skates (or if you’re one of those “hip” people, blades), be sure to find a pair that fits snugly. You can’t trust your shoe size on this one. I normally wear a size 12, but after some trial-and-error had to switch to a size 11. The skates should be snug, and if you have a spouse or partner who is willing to trade foot rubs with you once the night winds down, all the better!
  • Lace the skates as tight as you can! Make sure to pay attention to all the holes and notches for the laces to go through. If you find the laces are too big even after a double-knot, wrap them around the back of your skates then tie them in the front. The last thing you want, as I painfully discovered, is to have a rogue lace slip under a wheel. The main benefit of having your laces tied tight is not falling on your ass and getting run over by six junior-high kids. Also helps with ankle support/steadiness.
  • Another thing, while it’s fresh on my mind, is to watch your language. If you curse a lot like I do, you may want to bite your tongue. Skating is a family-oriented activity. Tempted though you’ll be, do your best not to yell out “OH SHIIIIT” as you go flying into a cinder-block wall.
  • Skate brakes are tricky. Because you must have the balance and coordination to tilt one foot forward (or, for roller blades, backward) to slow yourself to a stop, this may be a problem for some people. The trick is to make the brakes touch the floor lightly enough to make you gently slow down. What this means for the rest of us who don’t have a good sense of balance and coordination is that tilting your foot forward to make brake-contact with the floor usually ends up in a skidding, spinning, flailing descent to making full-body contact with the floor. I recommend flying into a cinder-block wall to stop yourself. It’s less painful and far less embarrassing.
  • Balance is the key to proper skating. If there’s a concessions stand nearby, don’t go near it! There’s bound to be some sort of slick or sticky fluid spilled in the vicinity. Your flawless sense of balance doesn’t mean shit when your wheels don’t stick to the floor. If you’ve gained a belly between now and the last time you took to the rink, you’ll have to lean forward farther, which isn’t so good for people with back problems.  And, by George, bend those knees!. A girdle is recommended.
  • Proper technique is paramount! When skating, do not attempt to walk on your skates. This doesn’t work. Instead, you should employ a sort of sliding motion, back and forth. If you’ve got bad hips, maybe you should hit the arcade instead.
  • When falling, the best method I’ve found is to try to lower a knee in a sort of “marriage proposal” position, then slide to a halt, or a cinder-block wall. The success rate of this method depends entirely on your sense of balance–I only got it to work once. If you’re like me, falling flat on your back, sliding on your stomach, or landing in a “limbs-askew” position is the more likely course of action.
  • Another important thing about falling is this: when falling on your ass is imminent, do NOT grab hold of your best friend’s hoodie in a desperate attempt to balance yourself. You will both fall and be run over by six junior high kids.
  • If someone falls directly in front of you, I can tell you from experience that it is not in your best interest to attempt to lift one leg up to avoid running it into the fallen. You are going down; just let it happen.
  • Do your best to hold your course and don’t be intimidated by people skating around everyone like a drunk driver weaving in and out of traffic. Chances are, they’ve had more practice than you and are thus unlikely to cause an accident.
  • Finally, as an exception to the previous tip, when someone cuts you off on their way to the rink’s exit, thereby causing imminent ass-landings, it is against proper etiquette to try taking them down with you, but highly recommended anyway.

I hope this helps, and good luck out there!

Of Bricks and Ethics.

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Originally Posted on August 29th, 2007:

I’d be surprised if no one saw this coming.

From PJStar.com (link):

Dorian LaSaine, who represents Rakiem Campbell, filed a motion last week in Peoria County Circuit Court seeking a change of venue for his client, who is accused of killing Katrina Kelley on July 14 by throwing the patio block over a fence on the Broadway Street overpass onto the car she was riding in on Interstate 74 below.

The numerous newspaper stories as well as coverage by the city’s TV and radio stations has meant people in the area know about the case and are likely to have already formed an opinion, LaSaine said Tuesday.

“Then we have the added additional burden of the unfortunate tragic death of the Bradley student,” the attorney said, referring to the Aug. 12 death of Bradley soccer player Sheridan “Danny” Dahlquist, who died after four of his friends set off Roman candles in his room. “People have been comparing the two cases and have formed their opinions.”

Yes, they certainly have. I’ve got my opinion: I think that if he did all those things, he ought to be deported. We’ll create a new country and call it “The Island of Id” and ship our less-than-stellar citizens there, where they can partake in their carnal and violent urges while leaving the rest of us in peace. Really, hear me out! Before making the Hitler comparisons, keep in mind that the French sent theirs to Devil’s Island, and the English sent their convicts here for about 150 years before shipping them off to Australia. Why we haven’t instituted a similar system boggles the mind. The U.K., U.S. and Australia turned out relatively fine. ¬_¬

See, that’s why I’m not fit for jury duty. Many people share this perspective. Can a motion to change the location of this trial be anything other than absolutely necessary?

If there is a single person out there who is disappointed by this outcome, someone ought to remind them that this is their fault. LaSaine is right, you know; people have made up their minds. The comments section beneath each related article on PJStar.com says it all, and the comparison between the way this is being handled with the way the Bradley case is being handled has drawn huge amounts of controversy and ire. The buzz in the Peoria blogosphere and subsequent commentary also support this claim. We’re all guilty of this, so there’s no sense in pointing figures or being outraged. I’m not.

In fact, this has actually brought forth in my mind an ethical dilemma. Obviously, in the interests of having a fair trial, mechanisms such as a change of venue are necessary–everyone seems to agree that, at best, it’s impossible to have a fair trial when the jury does not hold a neutral opinion. The dilemma that occurs in my mind is that while this serves the interests of fairness for the defendant, it does not serve the interests of those who were affected by it. It doesn’t serve the interest of the jogger who he attacked, nor the owners of the cars he torched, and certainly not the person he killed and their friends and family. The amount of fear and paranoia generated by this has affected the community, which is thereby also shafted by a venue change.

I’m certainly not of the opinion that this shouldn’t be an option. What troubles me about this particular usage is whether it’s more important to protect the principles of blind justice or the community affected by the crimes. Any ideas on this one?

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Originally Posted on August 4th, 2007

Up until a few months ago, I had no idea we had such an abundance of knowledgeable people in the Peoria area. Why, not too long ago one of them announced to the world that their logic was infallible. Another claimed he was able to debunk any opinion or argument that he disagreed with. That is just knock-your-socks-off impressive, if you ask me. I’ve heard a number of claims in my time, but it takes real cojones to say that everyone is wrong but you.

The Peoria Journal Star has been called many things over the years, but since they’ve implemented the commenting system on their news articles, we can add another one: an intellectual haven. Yes, the degree to which we’ve progressed as a society since its inception has been astounding–dare I say, we’ve entered a new age of enlightenment.

Before long, we’ll pick up a newspaper and be greeted by the headline “PJStar.com Peanut Gallery Solves Poverty!” or “PJStar.com Users Fix Everything, EVER!!!” Before I became a regular visitor to that site, I had no idea that the problem behind every social ill was because of Democrats, Republicans, liberals, white people and black people. I also learned, through the various contributions of family members of criminals or people under criminal investigation, that the person charged with the crime is always innocent, always a good person, and was always right in the middle of turning their life around. In retrospect, now that I’ve been infused with the wisdom of these local savants, it all makes sense.

I’ve even opted to throw my hat into the ring at considerable length from time to time; a fact which I intend to vehemently deny later in life. My piddly contributions, all of which were debunked or logically impossible according to the smartest of the bunch, are nowhere near the caliber of excellence commonly contributed by the smart masses. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves for daring to question these people. They know it all, we don’t.

Some of you have known me to go into long diatribes on PJStar.com. While I stick by most of what I’ve said, it doesn’t excuse the fact that I was senseless enough to be roped into it in the first place. I assure you, I’m ashamed of every contribution I’ve made. For days I’ve been googling psychiatric help for “addiction to redundant stupidity.” If any of you wish to refer me to someone, my gratitude is yours.

Don’t get me wrong. Healthy debate is great. Of all the freedoms I enjoy, the ability to share and discuss ideas is near the top of the list. It’s good that Peoria now has a place to provide feedback in a quick, modern and visible (albeit, knee-jerk) fashion. My hat is off to Jerry Smith who diligently monitors the boards to ensure things don’t get too out of hand. I also appreciate his openness and bluntness when dealing with the aforementioned “savants” and their accusations that the “evil, liberal Journal Star” is conspiring to silence their views, some of whom believe it’s their god-given right to post them there.

That being said, the amount of garbage that people contribute is simply harrowing. Whenever there’s a crime, particularly in the problem-prone areas of the city, there is always an overwhelming response. Every time, there are six sides that partake. The first group is the “can’t we all just get along” group. These are the ones who, whenever race is mentioned, reflexively drone on about how it doesn’t matter what color our skin is, we’re all human, we’re all Americans, we’re all equal, etc. While they’re right on a basic level, one portion is simply trying to keep the peace while the other is mindlessly parroting what has been fed to them. Their intentions are good, but they are in the minority.

The second group is similar to the first group in that they’re not overtly bigoted or malicious, but they are willing to talk about race as a topic without breaking out into a crescendo of white/black supremacism nor finger-wagging and judgmental sermons while holding hands and singing “We Are the World.” This group is also in the minority.

The third group is usually the least represented–the ones who leave comments on the article instead of, as much as I loathe referring to it as such, “debating” with the others.

The fourth portion, often as outspoken as the groups to follow, cries racism at everything. “This article is racist!” “No, you’re the racist” “Everybody here is a racist! (except me)” They are white, they are black, they are everything inbetween. They, as a group, contribute the least to the discussion, in my opinion.

The fifth and sixth groups can be summed up as follows: it’s the blacks’ fault or it’s the whites’ fault, respectively. These two make up the largest subsection of responders when these articles appear. The Journal Star staff have gone so far as not to even mention the race of the person in question when writing their articles, but it does no good. Much to the chagrin of those involved, Mr. Smith will often disable comments on the article and be done with it. I can’t say I blame him.

Some of you will read this and say,”reno, you damn hypocrite! You contribute to the various debacles on PJStar.com as much as the people you’re complaining about!” To that, I concede on principle: it is true, to an extent. Overall, I think I’ve done more good than evil, but I personally think it came to a peak this week when I helped contribute to the complete derailing of discussion concerning the inspection of Illinois bridges. I wasn’t the only one, of course, but I couldn’t leave it alone. It was a slow day and my fingers were aching for something to do. So to preempt the hecklers I will lead by example and STFU a bit. My sense of trolling has limits, you know.

Rodney King is often misquoted as asking,”Can’t we all just get along?” To the esteemed mavens who’ve been sharing their enlightenment with the rest of us through PJStar.com, I ask,”Can’t we all just shut up?”