Bush Farewell Tour 2008
Bush is in Thailand for the Asian leg of his Good Riddance World Tour. Instead of addressing the dizzying number of problems here at home, Herr Fuhrer is taking advantage of his freakshow legacy by giving leaders around the world the chance to be photographed with the worst president ever.

…on the other hand, I cannot argue with the genius of moving him as far away from the White House as possible. The reasoning–if it is to be a part of the decision at all–must be that if he is gone, his damage will be minimal. It can’t be diplomacy since there does not appear to be a diplomatic agenda. It is also too late in the game for him to be trying to earn some positive PR since his legacy lives and dies with his war crimes, his perversion of executive power and the utter abandonment of the Bill of Rights. He’s got no chance of fixing all the “fuck you’s” we’ve given the world over the past 7 1/2 years.

This is the equivalent of a drunk getting cut off before closing time. Although, his never-ending farewell tour has a sense of familiarity to it…

Bingo! This is especially fitting when you consider the fact that Bush has claimed executive privilege about as many times as Gene Simmons has… well, you know.

Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds?

First the response by Kathy Hilton, now this:

Rule #1 on how to treat your campaign contributors: Don’t use negative attack ads which feature their children in demeaning ways.The McCain campaign has not been brilliant in any sense of the word. McCain himself made it worse by calling the ad substantive and expressed his pride in the commercial. Then again, that might not mean much since John McCain doesn’t speak for the McCain campaign.

Even after the scathing response by Kathy Hilton and the satirical jabs made by Paris, this bumbling campaign still doesn’t get it. In a statement made to address the Paris retort, Tucker “the Fucker” Bounds made the following remarks:

“Sounds like Paris is taking the ‘All of the Above’ energy approach that John McCain has advocated — both alternatives and drilling. Perhaps the reality is that Paris has a more substantive energy plan than Barack Obama.”

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

So not only do we have a greedily opportunistic long-shot of a statement by the Fucker, he makes further disparaging remarks against Paris in the form of “HAHA Barack, even dumb ass PARIS HILTON has a better policy than you!” Some people don’t know when to quit.

Compare that to the irony that Obama is open to the idea of using limited offshore drilling if that’s what it takes–a position that is willing to change as the circumstances change, something completely alien to modern Republican credo–whereas McCain seems to want one oil platform per square mile of the continental shelf, then we’ll talk about thinking about talking about alternatives.

Epic fail.

Barack Obama’s take on it: “It’s like these guys take pride in being ignorant.” Owned.

Beer For My Klansmen

I’ve always had a thing or two to say about Cunty music–pardon me!–Country music. It’s no surprise that, as the official music genre of the Republican party, words like “racist,” “simpleton” and “inbred” come to mind. In the proud tradition of Merle Haggard, BlowMe Queef–my apologies!–Toby Keith has made racially-charged statements against Barack Obama by stating that he’s merely “acting white” to get elected.

This comes on the heels of a performance on the Colbert Report of a pro-lynching song titled “Beer For My Horses” in which the singer explicitly mentions taking “all the rope in Texas, find a tall oak tree… hang them high” then later referencing applying such mob justice to “gangsters… in the streets.”

This essentially confirms what we’ve been saying all along: the racist simpletons who an inbred like Toby Keith appeal to will be voting against Obama because he’s a spook coon darkie black guy.  Right Vonster?

Ingredient: 3 stalks of LOL, chopped.

Bill Dennis posted a blog about the SC(r)OTUS decision to overturn the Washington DC handgun ban, a decision I support. BJStone’s response was great and sums up my view beautifully.

Woo hoo! More guns! We don’t have enough! Give me more! Woo hoo!

The problem is not that the “liberal Democrats” oppose homeowners having guns…most of us DO NOT oppose the constitution or the right to bear arms…the problem is WHAT guns, HOW MANY, and WHY in the hell you need ‘em?

Want a shotgun or rifle to hunt? Fine, good, great even. Want a pistol to defend your home? Fine, good, we can work with that I think. Want a semi-automatic or a military assault rifle so you can put not just one cap, but 324 caps in some poor rabbit’s ass? We don’t get it.

*clap*clap*clap*

Ingredient - Sour Apples; fry for thirty seconds, then flip.

Obama’s flip-flopping is getting pretty annoying. I don’t blame the man himself, I blame his campaign supervisors who are still stuck in the Clintonian mindset that “the Centrist wins.” As NPR points out, Obama has steadily been moving towards the center to posture himself as a moderate on many issues as a gambit to draw more votes from centrists in the General Election.

This is a mistake. The reason we had record turnout during the primaries, the reason he won the Democratic nomination and the reason voter confidence is so high on our side is because he hasn’t been a moderate and hasn’t played election-year politics. This is a serious error and very detrimental to his campaign.

Think about it, he’s leading in all of the recent polls by, in many cases, large margins. Liberals and left-leaning people throughout the country are fired up and eager to get out there and vote. As much as I hate to use the word, we have indeed been galvanized. Things like this are only going to dampen spirits and reduce enthusiasm, and, Mr. Obama, whoever advised you to move to the center ought to be fired immediately.

Enthusiasm is the number one thing we have going for us in this election; get more of our people to vote than theirs. Honestly, the gains to be made though moderation are not larger than what we stand to lose in doing so.

You’ll note that I listed enthusiasm as our major advantage, rather than the war, the state of the economy or the excesses, lies, fuck ups and tyranny of the Bush administration. That’s right. You see, due to the fact there are still Republican voters who have not defected by now–after all this they still remain unmoved–the only reasonable conclusion one can reach is that they will not be moved.

Let’s not kid ourselves: the old ways are gone. The lines have been drawn and people have chosen sides. As a strategy to strengthen your side during an election year, I think making inroads to the others’ base has become mostly obsolete. Appeal to your own base, stick to your guns, and when the chips fall you can say you were right all along. People will defect in the end.

Remember, Barry? Like you did with Iraq? Let’s get back to that mindset, hm?

Ingredient: a spritz of brainwashing.

For you guilt-wracked Republicans out there who flog yourself with an electric metal cross while pretending to speak in tongues over the mental stress of realizing all the glaring inconsistencies in your belief patterns and are now thinking about defecting but fear you’ll go to hell and be shunned at the country club for doing so… *deep breath* let’s do a little exercise to put you back in la-la land.

Repeat after me:

• Republicans are not warmongers.
• Republicans are not warmongers.
• Republicans are not warmongers.

If you tell yourselves that enough times, you might even start to believe it again.

I understand why he’s doing it. I understand the nuance involved, but I still don’t like it. Yes, I’m referring to Barack Obama’s apparent flip-flopping on the FISA bill. I understand the importance of the bill, but damn, are we really going to give another free pass to the telecommunications companies? Honestly? We’ve given them wiggle room in many areas, and what have they done with it? Bandwidth throttling, anti-competitive business practices, illegal surveillance… Once again, the Republicans are favoring them over the American people. I swoon in disbelief.

Naturally, even though this act shows bipartisan effort and the ability to compromise (a marked improvement over the President v.43 model), John McCain and the Republicans at large will undoubtedly attack him on this issue (even though he’s conceding to them) for being a flip-flopper.

I would challenge the wisdom of this. Maybe I should join the trend and switch to John McCain over this one issue. Y’know, like the fanatical portion of Hillary Clinton supporters did.

It’s not like I don’t have reasons. Another issue I strongly disagree with Obama over is the issue of Ethanol. John McCain agrees with me. Oh wait, maybe not. Oh well, at least he shares the view that people like Jerry Falwell are bad for the nation. What? He’s down with Jerry? Hm.

Well, there have got to be plenty of issues we see eye to eye on. Abortion? He used to. Surely he disagrees with the use of torture. Damn. Offshore drilling? Damn. I KNOW I heard him say he was against the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy… DAMMIT! Gay Marriage? Pff, that was short-lived.

What about the issues we know Obama has flipped on? How about his decision not to take public financing? Nope. McCain can’t attack him on that, considering he doesn’t even agree with himself over what campaign finance reform ought to be. Then there’s the issue of immunity for the telecoms. Can we honestly say he flipped on this issue too? Yes. We. Can.

On second thought, maybe I’ll stick to the guy who has been giving me the straight talk. Y’know, the one who has been mostly consistent. You know which one. Still, you just know they’re going to drag him through the mud over this. Despite everything John McCain has flipped on, they’ll accuse Obama of pandering. The thing is, considering his Democratic and largely liberal base, doesn’t his stance on FISA prove that he is not pandering? (Ethanol, not so much. We’ll take ownership of that one.)

I’m troubled by the fact that John McCain turned out to be the kind of politician who will say anything to gain power, leaving us without the foggiest clue as to what he’ll actually do with it. Frightening. He had such potential in 2000.

Charles Black, a top McCain adviser, said that a new terrorist attack “certainly would be a big advantage to [McCain].”

Ever wonder why there are 9/11 conspiracy theories all over the place?  Ever wonder where they get their ammunition?  Let’s look at the list:

• Government officials acting as if they’re hiding something
• Blocking investigations
• Refusing to testify
• Mishandling evidence
• Lying about trivial things
• Lying about important things
• Refusing to answer questions
• NEW:  Making cynical, dumbass statements like this.

Looks like Mr. Black let the cat out of the bag, confirming many long-held suspicions that the Republicans are lusting after another 9/11 to legitimize their wars, their military budget and agenda, their grievous attack on civil liberties and the consolidation of power in the Executive Branch.  That’s to say nothing of all the Halliburtons out there who would benefit from exclusive, no-bid government contracts for billions of dollars.

I think the fact that this guy wasn’t immediately terminated for the statement reinforces my opinion on the matter.  It’s as if the Cons are saying,”why bother?  They already know, we’re not fooling anyone.”  Fortunately for the CT’s, if we do get attacked between now and November, this statement gives them another argument to support their case:  a motive.  Good job, dumbass.

Some filler for the transition:

“While we may never know the answers, Scott McClellan alone will have to wrestle with whether it was worth selling out the president and his friends for a few pieces of silver.” - comment from Republican Lamar Smith to Scott McClellan over his book chronicling the corruption of the Bush Administration during his time as a White House aide.

The important phrase here is “for a few pieces of silver.” This is what anchors the whole statement–a biblical reference to the betrayal of Jesus by his disciple Judas for thirty pieces of silver.

I’m not bothered by the comparison of McClellan to Judas. From the Administration’s view that one is easy to understand. What I find troubling is the equation of Bush to Jesus in the same reference. WTF?

People, this is the kind of batshit mindset we’re up against.

—————-

Things are coming along with the redesign. Once I get a handle on this whole theming process, everything else should fall into place.

Ingredient: A Dash of Relief

The primary season is finally over! Thanks Hillary for saying you’ll support Barack Obama. You’ve run an incredibly bitter and negative campaign, and liberals everywhere thank you for aiming your cannons across the aisle for a change. Please, don’t play the veepstakes. That small percentage of extremely vocal and stunningly obnoxious supporters who say they’ll vote for McCain are now saying they wouldn’t vote for Obama even if you were on the ticket. They’re the weak-minded morons I have repeatedly described, and the Republicans are playing them like a fiddle. So please, let it go.

Yeah, yeah, party unity. I’m not interested in prolonging the division, but after running the kind of ruthless, cutthroat operation we’ve suffered over the last 4 months (let’s face it, February was when things turned ugly), she’s the one who need to make amends and redeem herself. To be honest, I hope she does. She could be a great asset to the Party and the country, but first she needs to lick her wounds and swallow her pride. Additionally, any Obama supporters who start pouring salt on said wounds by gloating should throw themselves off a bridge, right now.

Ingredient: A Healthy Smattering of Sleaze

I’ve got to hand it to the Republicans, who are proving to be every bit as stubborn and tenacious as the Clinton campaign was. I mean, seriously: internet trolls? That’s their strategy? It makes sense that the only thing they have to rely on are smear tactics, spreading rumors and subterfuge (let’s not be coy, they’re frauds). What else can they use? They set the standard for epic failure on issues like policy and record, and they know it.

For all you Vonsters and Dittoheads out there who believe Limbaugh’s crap that “the Democrats gave us McCain,” as justification for your fraudulent little campaign, read the “frauds” link. It wasn’t us who gave you John McCain. Sans Michigan and Florida, we were too busy making sure our favorite got the Democratic nomination to bother with foiling your plans. Maybe what Limbaugh and his followers have failed to realize is that they’ve become irrelevant. They failed to realize that they, not the “liberals,” are the problem and people are sick of their shit. They might have a few reasons to be bitter.

In short, the Republicans are going to lose because they deserve to lose. Cry about it somewhere else.

Ingredient - Road Rage.

I’m expanding my targets of gas price-related anger. Instead of focusing on a few, I’m going to spread my anger evenly on all those responsible, including the oil companies, the speculators, the GOP and the ones I get to deal with most, BFV drivers.

Big. Fuckin’. Vehicle.

Nothing bothers me more than seeing a BFV capable of hauling steel beams to a construction site in the bed of the truck, yet not have a single scratch on it. Why does this bother me? They don’t fucking need it! Get a car. Get a smaller truck, hell, get a Chevy Blazer. They drive well, they’re spacious, the gas mileage is better, and you don’t look cartoonish getting in or out of one. The bottom line: if you don’t use a truck for work, don’t buy a goddamn work truck, dumbass.

Then there are the BFV drivers who have no courtesy or regard for others on the road. As I sit here trying to imagine the elitist attitude and sense of entitlement of those who would purchase one of these things, I can’t what is going through the mind of one of these miscreants as they pull into a gas station and neglect to pull into the far end of the pumps, thus forcing you to go around them, missing the pump they should have used because of the width of the turn you had to make due to the unnecessary size of their vehicle.

I got to experience this last night, and for the last time, I swear. The cocksucker in the drivers seat, naturally, was the only one riding in their 10 mpg vehicle. Great. They come out wearing nicely tailored garments undoubtedly made from linens skillfully crafted at the hands of a 7 year old working in a garage-turned-factory on the outskirts of Calcutta. I finished pumping gas and went inside to pay.

After waiting in line for about five minutes, the same shithead cuts in front of me in line. I responded with a booming voice that wasn’t quite a yell, but designed to be loud and imposing,”EXCUSE ME I WAS STANDING IN LINE FIRST,” then stepped in front of them. If the fucker would have said anything, I’d have been more than happy to give them a pipe wrench polish on their BFV as soon as I stepped out the door. Assholes.

When they’re not cutting me off, trying to hit me or doing something completely rude, my encounters with BFV’s and their owners tend to be benign. When gas is at $4/gallon, the economy is in the shitter, our illegal invasion is going terrible and the asshole in the BFV has a GOP election sticker on their bumper, I tend to get a little less friendly.

Most of the time when I see someone driving a BFV, I simply think,”Nice SUV. Sorry about your penis.”

As an aside, can anyone tell my why the fuck there are so many Impala’s on the road? I can’t drive for 5 minutes without seeing the ugly ass-end of one of these things staring me in the face.

Ingredient: 1 lb of Satisfaction

After running the most positive campaign I can recall, Barack Obama came out swinging in the GE. Now the crybaby pisspants Republicans are whining about it by calling him a hypocrite. Why? Because it’s “politics as usual” and “negative campaigning.”

Really? I haven’t seen any ad hominem by the Obama camp. I’ve seen some propagandistic comparisons to “Bush’s third term,” but nothing serious. In fact, almost every attack has to do with McCain’s stance on the issues and, by extension, calling his election Bush’s third term does a pretty good job at summing it up.

What the wingnuts are really saying is “you can’t attack us, period.” I can see why they’d adopt this attitude, considering how their shitty policies led us to an illegal war and an economic recession while letting companies run amok with little or no regulation and are thereby directly responsible for the fix we’re in.

They’re certainly not pulling any punches though. They’ve already called Obama a liar. Then there’s the internet trolls and his shameless speech last Tuesday, in which he criticized Obama’s proposals while repeatedly lying through his dentures. Ooh, a point-by-point with the transcript could be fun…

Ingredient: Republicans are fucking scary.

It seems the average Conservative is still excessively bad at making a case for… well, for anything, really. Take, for instance, your average dittohead troll:

It’s the same old spill from liberal bloggers. They are blinded to the facts. Obama is not a reliable candidate. He has not even finished his term at present. Do you think if there were a higher office he would quit the presidency to run for it? There is not a higher office in America. Maybe they do agree with his voting record, as short as it is. To associate MCcain with the klan is completely ignorant on their behalf. His record shows bipartisan efforts. Obama’s does not. McCain’s past shows strong leadership and reform. Obama’s does not. Of course it does not matter to the leftist. They will continue to attack based on their biased,bigotted forum.

This is an excellent example of what I’m referring to. The have a penchant for making broad-based, absolute statements. They state them as if they were set in stone, factual and unchanging. What’s terrifying about it is that they never question themselves. They say what, but they never, ever, ever say why. “They are blinded to the facts.” How? “Obama is not a reliable candidate. He has not even finished his term at present.” Why does that make him unreliable? “Do you think if there were a higher office he would quit the presidency to run for it?” Moot question, implications appeal to ones ignorance rather than their reason. “There is not a higher office in America.” No shit? Was this written by a fourth grader? There is one higher office you Cons recognize: CEO. “Maybe they do agree with his voting record, as short as it is.” Who agrees? Are you talking about this voting record? John McCain has his share of No Votes too, buddy.

The rest of it is just too goofy to mention. Obama, for instance, had a reputation for getting the other side involved at the state level. McCain, if you read the news, has turned out to be a political wind vane. Whichever way the wind is blowing, especially around an election, John McCain is sure to follow.

This, I think, is why I want to be an educator, especially at the college level. Maybe, just maybe I can lead someone to reason before they become assimilated. At the very least, it would be a victory to get someone to reason with themselves to at least express why they think that way, instead of just presenting their opinion to the world. Saying why you think someone is a communist is worth far more than simply stating that you think they’re a communist. Better still is to logically demonstrate how your reasons are valid. Not a single one of the conservative dipshits who’ve left comments on my blog have done this, but I’d shake the hand of one who finally does.

The sad thing is, this comment was one of the better ones! Blows ol’ Vonster right out of the water. Sure, it reads like it was written by a third grader, but at least the person was trying.

In response to an opinion piece that spoke unfavorably of the venerable and holy Oil Industry, some moron made the following claim: the environmental activists and lobbyists are the reason we’re paying $4 at the pump.

Cue studio laughter.

Yes, fella, because environmental lobbyists have sooooo much more money than Big Oil and can hire sooooo many more lobbyists.

I don’t get people like this. They’re essentially fanning away mosquitos while ignoring the tiger that’s eating their leg.

Reminds me of the 90’s when the right-wingers pointed to seatbelt laws, bicycle helmet laws and video game ratings or the parental advisories on music as the harbingers of democracy’s impending demise while describing how it would lead to a totalitarian police state while abusing the phrase “Big Brother.”

Now we have all sorts of GOP-originated big government, and people like this are still swatting at the mosquitos! Jeez.

What we’re seeing here with the protection of Big Oil is a co-dependent mingling of government and business, providing us with, as KO once put it, a textbook example of fascism. Thanks, guys. Way to love freedom.

——-

I’m really looking forward to having another Democrat in office. The wingnuts go from vanilla crazy to full-throttle batshit insane.

Remember how I’ve often remarked on how far politics in this country have shifted to the right? This is the kind of thing I’m talking about. Behold, the good ol’ days:

Hat tip to Grandma’s Attic.

“Barack Obama’s dubious claim is inconsistent with world history and demands an explanation. It was Soviet troops that liberated Auschwitz, so unless his uncle was serving in the Red Army, there’s no way Obama’s statement yesterday can be true. Obama’s frequent exaggerations and outright distortions raise questions about his judgment and his readiness to lead as commander in chief.”Obama’s False Claim:

Obama: “I had an uncle who was one of the — who was part of the first American troops to go into Auschwitz and liberate the concentration camps. And the story in our family was is that when he came home, he just went up into the attic and he didn’t leave the house for six months. Right, now, obviously, something had really affected him deeply. But at that time, there just weren’t the kinds of facilities to help somebody work through that kind of pain.” (Sen. Barack Obama, Remarks On Memorial Day, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV1sxq8mqvA, Las Cruces, N.M., 5/26/08)

Historical Fact:

According To The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, Auschwitz Was Liberated By The Red Army On January 27, 1945. “On January 27, 1945, Soviet troops liberated the Auschwitz concentration camp complex, where they discovered some 7,000 prisoners, including young children, who had not been evacuated by the SS.” (United States Holocaust Memorial Museum Web Site, http://www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/focus/liberation/, Accessed 5/27/08)

Paid for by the Republican National Committee.

Jesus, they were quick on this one. These days the RNC is so used to grasping at straws that they get over-excited and jump the gun when they think they have something–anything–they can work with. Note the “gotcha” tone and pointed finger. Too bad they were wrong:

“Senator Obama’s family is proud of the service of his grandfather and uncles in World War II — especially the fact that his great-uncle was a part of liberating one of the concentration camps at Buchenwald,” campaign spokesman Bill Burton said in a statement. “Yesterday he mistakenly referred to Auschwitz instead of Buchenwald in telling of his personal experience of a soldier in his family who served heroically.” (Source: Associated Press)

Naturally, Fox News showed up first on the Google News list, and we know how neutral they are when it comes to things like this. Normally I wouldn’t bother with this kind of crap, but it seems viewers of Fux News never seem to hear when what they’ve been told on that particular network has been proven to be categorically false.  So here ya go, morans.

I’m sure by now everyone has noticed the increasing amount of Clinton supporters saying they won’t support Barack Obama in the general election. By comparison, Obama supporters have been considerably more pragmatic in stating that they would vote for Clinton if she gets the nomination, even before the contest was over.

The punditry has dedicated a moderate amount of attention to this but both hosts and guests alike have written it off as a byproduct of passion that comes with close contests such as these. They’ve also been dismissive of the backlash by claiming that only the most die hard supporters are stoking the fires, but they too will come around by the fall.

I disagree. I think the problem is simpler than it looks, and some people are beyond reach for simple reasons.

Here we have people like Geraldine Ferraro being given air time as she actively campaigns against the Democratic Party. She says it’s because Barack Obama is a sexist. Mind you, she hasn’t been able to cite a single example of sexism on behalf of him or his campaign, even though we could cite several examples of overt racism on her behalf. She’s played the victim in both instances.

Then there’s the “Not so fast” crowd from the WomenCount PAC promising to “stand united in [their] unwavering support for Hillary Clinton,” claiming that “Hillary’s voice is OUR voice, and she’s speaking for all of us.”

Time out: who do you mean by “us?” She’s not speaking for me, that’s for damn sure, so who? “We know that when women vote, Democrats win. Now it is the responsibility of our party to hear our voices and count all of our votes. We want Hillary to stay in this race until every vote is cast, every vote is counted, and we know that our voices are heard.”

I can’t be the only one who sees a problem here. On one hand her supporters are saying that the reason her campaign failed is because of sexism on behalf of the media and the Obama campaign. On the other, they’re identifying themselves as women voting on gender lines. You can’t have it both ways–sexism is a two-way street. Using sexism to fight sexism is self-defeating. The claims of sexism completely fall apart as a result–this is opportunism.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Clinton supporters–men and women alike–saying that they will vote McCain or not at all has a ringing familiarity to it. When this switching-sides garbage started, the Clinton camp reminded me of children throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store after being told “no.” But this has escalated beyond irrationality and soared into the stratosphere of selfishness.

Now whenever I see a child throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, I’m going to think of Clinton supporters.

It’s about time for the children to get out of the pool. They’re getting way more attention than they deserve. Even after running the most ruthless, dirty, race-baiting, fear-mongering, lie-filled campaign I’ve ever heard of outside a general election, Clinton still lost despite the name recognition and crushing domination in all the polls from day one.

It is unavoidable that certain elements of her base supporters will call themselves disenfranchised, but I’ve got a better name for it: sore losers. The real problem is vanity.